My top ten most embarrassing interests

     Everyone has them. Those movies, TV shows, and just... Things... They like that admitting in public will cause extreme amounts of blushing, or explaining, or just saying "Shut up" a lot.

So this is my list. They are ranked in how embarrassed I am to say that I like these properties.

     

Go ahead and make fun of me in the comments.

       

10. COPS

   Bad boys bad boys... Growing up every Saturday night the TV would be on Fox to watch this proto-reality series. When I visit my mom's and get control of the cable I immediately go to one of those super white trash channels that usually has a marathon of this show running and I will literally sit for hours watching people get arrested for doing stupid stuff and still want more. The reason it's on this list is because I hate admitting to liking anything white trash, the reason it's so low is because it's easy to justify why it's fun.

     

Don't taze me man!

   

9. Moulon Rogue

  I know a lot of people like this movie, but most of the people I know who like this movie are women so it's kind of weird as a man to admit to liking it, but the bombastic colors, the hooker with a heart of gold cheesy love plot, and especially the music makes this one of my favorite films to watch or listen to. In fact a friend of mine moved over the weekend and "Lady Marmalade" and "Tango Des Los Roxanne" was playing in my ear as I wrestled boxes into a car.

   

8. Anita Blake Vampire Hunter series

My mom got me into this one. I just want to say in my hipstery voice that I was way into vampire/werewolf/human love triangles WAY before Twilight, and this book series to me does it right. How? Because the main character Anita actually has a personality! Imagine that! And her love interests are not "Hunky boy #1" or "Hunky boy #2", she has a reason to be in conflict. If you like pulpy adventures with an expertly written female protagonist check out this series, then come back and explain to me why this thing doesn't have a TV series.

  

7. Animal Crossing: New Leaf

For those who don't know, Animal Crossing: New Leaf is a game that came out for Nintendo's 3DS last year to rave reviews from children and teenage girls alike, and while I was suspicious when I first bought it I have now logged in almost as many hours as I have on my Skyrim game. This thing is digital crack. All it is though is that you are the mayor of a small town of animal people and you run around catching up on gossip, fishing, fossil hunting, and building your little house. It is the cutesiest game I own and so help me I know I lose man points for playing it... but I can't wait to play again tomorrow when I can turn my little basement into a sauna with fireplace.

  

6. Kid Histories/Kid Snippets

 These Utah based guys have made a bundle telling their kids stories from their lives, then asking the kids to repeat the stories, then acting out the versions of the stories the kids tell, complete with random ramblings and incorrect facts. It is so highly entertaining and funny though that it's a wonder nobody has yet to copy these guys. I spotted one of the guys at Fantasy Con and almost went to say hi but was embarrassed to admit that I have spent hours listening to his kids tell stories.

5. Sex and the City

Whatever man points I had left just slipped right out of my account, but I don't care. I actually own three seasons and one movie of this franchise. I have agonized as Carey, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte have fallen in and out of love. I have seen nearly every episode, I know all the stupid romances, and I just love that Carey and I are both writers (Although every internet quiz I take tells me I'm Samantha. Go figure). I even to this day, much to my wife's annoyance, yelled at the screen because I still think Carey should go with Aiden and not that giant loser Mr. Big. UGGGH!

   

4. Muppets

I know what you're going to say: "Who doesn't love the Muppets?"

No, you don't understand.

I  have like a dozen Muppet songs floating around my iPod with my Moulin Rogue stuff and Sex and the City songs. Muppet's Christmas Carol is my favorite Christmas movie. Used to be at the drop of a hat I could sing the entire, ENTIRE, soundtrack to Muppets Take Manhattan. Disneyland has a Muppet Theater that we had to go to three times, because it had real Muppets. Somewhere in my junk I own a Tin Weirdo, which is a Gonzo version of the Tin Man from Muppet's Wizard of Oz.

It's a little sick.

   

   3. Showgirls

Note: I could not find an appropriate picture for Showgirls so

for your viewing pleasure here is a cute cow.

 I love this movie, but not for why you think. For the uninitiated, Showgirls is one of the biggest financial flops of all time. Starring Jessie from Saved By the Bell as she struggles up the seedy and wicked Las Vegas exploitative adult entertainment industry, from stripper to topless performer to better paid topless performer to star. The film is NC17 for some extremely racy nude scenes, but that's not why I like it. I like it because the film is so beyond stupid as a student of film it's just entertaining to watch something fail so hard. It spins all the way back to why I like watching people get taken down on COPS. Even the NC17 parts are done so badly that they don't come off as sexy but as one woman, no, one film's desperate struggle for attention and love. The film is literally throwing naked women at the audience in an effort to be likable and is failing so hard it comes back around and somehow becomes likable again. The embarrassment comes from knowing full well that I shouldn't watch this, for not only the sake of taste but for the sake of just being LDS, but holy Hera is it entertaining!

 

2. IM5 and other boy bands

Why on Earth are we seeing a resurgance of boy bands? That's like seeing a resurgence of traveling minstrels, though with what the internet has given us with regards to social commentary and music... But I digress. Even at their peak they're were one or two songs I liked from boy bands. I'm still fond of "Backstreet's Back" by you know who, and the LDS Sons of Provo back in the day had a few good ones, but hearing some of the newest stuff, mainly from working at Toys R Us, I have to say that some of these guys aren't half bad. "Best Song Ever" is fun and light hearted without being too cheesy, but the top of my list is this band that's starting to pick up some momentum called IM5. Honestly the stuff they themselves make is hit-or-miss for me, but it's when they work with Tordick Hall on his website that I get excited. These boys will occasionally drop the thug life stuff and call themselves the Disney Dudez and do cover/remixes of Disney songs. These boys are not afraid to look like fools for the sake of having fun, including dressing up not only as Disney princes, but as their corresponding princesses. You have to check them out.

   

Before I get to #1 a couple honorable mentions:

   

Rocky Horror Picture Show: Come on, it's Rocky, what can I say?

Zero Punctuation: A foul mouthed British/Austrailian video game critic who makes weekly cartoons insulting everyone on Earth? I'm in. Favorite quote: "It's like watching someone beat their hands against a wall then run to the hospital to get bandaged up before doing it some more. And they used my medical insurance. and it's my wall!"

   

  The Sims: I have played and owned nearly every incarnation of the Sims at one time. Not Sim City. Not sim games. The Sims. The game where you manipulate people's lives like some sick being with a God complex. I love love LOVE this game, and probably always will.

 

1: Monster High

 In my Mormon Geek's blog I posted a video showing support to a kid who was teased for being a Brony by showing off my doll collection.

My Monster High doll collection.

My Monster High doll collection that features over two dozen dolls.

Due to lack of space and the fact that they scare my wife, my Monster High dolls

   are sadly in a box in my closet, sleeping. Now for the record, the only things I follow are the dolls and the web series, I'm not into the movies or any weird little girl dress up thing. I think the series plays out like a modern Bugs Bunny with gags for kids but plenty of subtle tributes for adults, and I think the overall design of the characters and dolls is interesting, and since they're based on Universal Monsters (Unofficially) and I'm a huge Universal Monsters fan (Officially), it was a natural fit to get into these. The reason that despite making a web videoshowing off my dolls I"m still embarrassed is because unlike Bronies they're isn't a strong male demographic into Monster High, at least none that I've found at time of writing, so it's still a huge taboo, especially since these things are based mostly on the fashions of teenage monster girls.

Do you share any of my guilty pleasures? Wanna make fun of me? You know what to do...

-JOE